Hi guys, I am back here after quite a while. This blog is my safe space where I express myself without the fear of being judged. I have always wanted this to be a place where we can have conversations about topics which might be considered uncomfortable in day to day conversation. Mental health is something which I consider very important. Hence, I consider conversations about mental health of utmost importance. So, lets start with me? I won’t lie to you, I am not in the best headspace right now. In fact I haven’t been for a while but we are all getting there right? Plus I believe I write better when I am down in dumps.
Sorry that got a bit dark! But anyways do let me know how you guys have been doing. As always I would like to reiterate that this is a safe space with no judgements!
Coming to what this blog is about, change. I feel like to an extent, change terrifies us all. Be it in school, college, in relationships or professionally. Don’t know if you guys relate but I definitely agree to the statement above. Nothing affects my mental health like change. Personally, I am the type of person who contrary to popular belief thrives on steadiness. I don’t like being impulsive or taking risks in general. Now, don’t get me wrong I do enjoy an adventure every once in a while but in general I am more of a slow and steady wins the race kinda girl. I am sure a-lot of you guys reading relate to this. So, change absolutely terrifies me. Even if it is a positive change like promotion to a higher level in professional settings or something as simple as moving to a new grade in school, it is definitely not an easy experience.
For those of you who have met me, know that I moved around 3-4 times during my schooling due to my dad’s occupation at the time. Adapting to that was definitely not easy as a teenager. I was always the new girl in class and even though there were people who reached out first, I obviously had to put in efforts from my end to make new friends. Talk to people first, instead of waiting for them to come to me. I feel like I was really lucky because the people I met during my schooling were all really sweet and kind to me. Of course, there were a few mean people along the way but overall my schooling went by pretty smoothly with few hurdles along the way.
What changes did I have to adapt to during this time you ask?
A-lot of them.
Settling in a new city is never easy, on top of that I had to manage my studies, my mental health and my relationships with people. The first time I moved, it was the hardest because I was leaving a place I had spent 7 years of my life in and not to mention I was just a teenager. But after a while it became manageable as I realised that slowly but surely I learn to adapt even if at first I am losing my mind.
Coming to present day, everything has changed in the past year and so fast that I could swear I got whiplash. I am now at an age where society expects me to now settle down. I would argue that I am already settled but where I come from settling down for a girl means marriage. Its been almost two years since I have started my career and I am not lying I absolutely love my job even if there are times it seems hard, at the end of the day I absolutely love it. I love working and although its become huge trend to bash 9-5 job culture among us genz and glorify entrepreneurship, for me personally and I feel alot of my peers this culture works. I am by no means bashing entrepreneurship, I think its awesome but its just not a path thats for me. So, I am at a stage where I want to think about my career and work harder to grow more in my professional space but instead here I am plagued with the mental pressure of marriage. This year, especially its been a-lot to deal with considering I was and am still not mentally prepared for that chapter of my life.
Moving on.
Other major changes this year include a huge chunk of my friend circle have moving abroad for higher studies and although I am very proud of them adjusting to this was super hard on both sides. Throughout my life I have been an avid believer of quality over quantity thus I have always had a limited amount of close friends. These people have always been my pillar of support in every situation since day one and absolutely adore each and every single one of them. So, when one by one they started moving away it was a change that I was definitely NOT ready for. We have definitely shed a-lot of tears together in the beginning but slowly we realised a bond is a bond and it will stay strong as long as both sides put in efforts. So, even though a few of my favourite people have moved physically away from me, I have come to realise that we are now closer and our friendship is stronger than ever. As they say
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder”
I think most of us now realise that as we are ageing, our parents are too. It is a pill that is hard to swallow but is true. Our parents are getting older now and are probably not at their best physically and mentally. This is the change nobody prepares you for because parents almost become taken for granted. Like a guaranteed support system throughout your life and when that system starts cracking thats when you realise that somewhere between you throwing tantrums and them tending to you with almost saint like patience that things have changed. It is time that you tend to them. In my case, I have never been a problem child but I have had my fair share of fights with them but at the end of the day I know for a fact that they will support me through everything and vice versa. These changes makes me realise how much my family means to me and how protective all of us are over each other. This thought fills me with warmth and makes me feel all fuzzy inside.
Coming to the final but maybe the most important change of all: Relationship dynamics. As, someone who has moved alot I know what it feels to slowly experience change in dynamics with people you once spoke to everyday. We are at an age where career and growth is our priority which may often lead us to prioritize our growth over our relationship to people. We are growing and they are too. So, people who used to talk everyday non-stop maybe barely talk once a day now and that’s completely okay since nothing is constant. Situations change and with that people have to too. So, cut yourself and people around you some slack. We are all trying are best and deserve to be treated that way. Just because you guys don’t talk everyday like you used to does not signify that any love or admiration is lost between the both of you. A bond like that will definitely stay strong as long as there is effort from both ends don’t worry.
Phew, this was a read and half! I just had pin down my thoughts since I was in one of my writing moods which doesn’t happen often. From what I gather from my journey through all of this is, whatever the situation maybe I have never been alone. I have always had wonderful people around me to support me and help me adapt to any given situation. If you are reading this, you know who you guys are and I absolutely adore every single one of you to bits!
Conclusion is that I now realise that I should embrace change with open arms since it is inevitable and slowly but surely I will definitely come to terms with it.
Although this blog might seem like word vomit but best believe all of this came straight from my heart and I would love to hear what your thoughts are!
Leaving you guys with a few questions I would love to know answers to:
Does change terrify you too? Do you embrace change immediately or does it take time for you to adjust? What helps you deal with it?
Thank you for reading and as always I hope to be back soon!
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